Sunday, May 15, 2011

Patrick update


I have been getting periodic updates about Patrick from his new family but was kind of hesitant to post about it here because he really was basically doing the same.  He was still having lots of behavioral challenges but they were managing it because of all the help that is in the house.  In one sense it made me feel better that he was still difficult for them and it wasn't just all our problem.  Ann was always so understanding in the way she talked to us about it and admitted that he was a major handful and she was really surprised that we lasted as long as we did.  
 However we still did want to see him improve.  That was the reason we decided on the move, because we thought he would just do better there in that situation.  

Yesterday though I got a letter from Ann that just made my day.
Here it is in her words.

just a quick update. Patrick is doing well. he is now fully-included in a regular kindergarten class full-time. he went from about 50 challenging behaviors a day at school to one per week. he is doing GREAT. he does have a 1:1 aide who knows sign language. he has lots of regular ed friends and is even getting invited to birthday parties. obviously he still has some challenging behaviors and can be very needy but he is making improvements daily. :-)  i think he is just a kid who "takes a village."

hope all is well,
ann

This is the kid who had to have 3 psychiatric hospitalizations this past summer and nobody knew what to do with him.  This is the kid who was about to be sent to a behavioral school in the cityNow here he is integrated in a regular ed kindergarten.  This makes me so happy.  This makes it feel like it was all worth it.
The great thing about Ann too is that she never made us feel like we were terrible parents and we just couldn't hack it and it was a good thing she was there to fix things.  If you were to ask her what her secret was with these kids she would just kind of shrug her shoulders and act like she didn't know.  For some reason these guys just do better there she would say.  Having all the help is a big plus.  We used to think that Patrick just needed a 1:1 person on him all day at home and school and he would probably be a lot better but we just couldn't provide that for him.  We are just so so thankful that somebody can though.
When I think about what kind of situation he would be in if he was still in Liberia it is just amazing.  So yes I am sorry that we couldn't be the ones to finish what we started but I am thankful that God is finishing what he started and it isn't all about us and what we did.  It's all about God and He gets all the glory.

If you are interested in following Patrick's progress on Ann's website you will need to look for him under the name Greyson.  She already had a Patrick so I guess she just did that to make it less confusing.  The last update on the site was in December so this here is the most recent but I did appreciate what she wrote about him and our situation on her site.

Also, if you get a chance check out the boys' new music video on the home page.  They have a professional musician helping them and when we were there in December they were so proud of their "Band of Brothers".  So cute.  :)  If you can't understand the words they are written out on the YouTube page.

6 comments:

  1. What an encouraging update from Ann! I'm so happy to hear that!

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  2. So glad to hear of P's progress. And that he continues to improve.

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  3. I have been wondering about him! Thanks so much for the update. Ann sounds amazing, and I am so glad he has a 1:1 there. And you are so right about this being Gods work, and no one elses. God rescued him from Liberia, and now he is rescuing him in another way altogether, and giving him a chance he would have never had, if God hadn't planted that seed in your hearts to adopt. I love you guys, and how you learn from everything God puts in your path. You are an inspiration (and I know your humble heart would say, "not us"...but yes, you guys).

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  4. Wow! Praise God! That's amazing! Mike and I are really glad to hear Patrick's doing well! I deleted my FB account and am checking blogs a lot less frequently, so I hadn't heard how he was doing in some time. I also assume from the pregnancy ticker that you and Christian are expecting?! Congratulations!!

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  5. You are blessed to have such a good relationship with Ann.

    The family that adopted our son a year ago, hasn't been in contact at all, except when we had to contact them about the continual middle of the night phone calls we were getting from him (where he would hang up when we answered). They even tried to deny the phone calls ... but we have caller i.d. and we know his cell phone number. Ugh!

    Anyway, they have always made us feel like we were horrible parents (the old mother in the shoe with too many children that she didn't know what to do). As soon as he moved in with them, they bought him anything and everything he had ever wanted (computer, cell phone, etc...). So, it appears that as long as you give him anything he wants, he keeps his RAD behavior in check.

    Or ... he may be causing just as much trouble, but they want to pretend that they are living a fairytale life.

    So hard.

    So glad for you, that Patrick is doing well.

    I do believe that we both were absolutely following the Lord's plan when we brought our boys home from Africa. We just couldn't have imagined that His plan would include disrupting our adoptions. But, we continue to seek His guidance, and He continues to lead and guide.

    Sorry that you camping trip was canceled, but glad you got so much done at home.

    Laurel :)

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  6. Laurel,
    When we were talking with other people who disrupted I wasn't really hearing positive stories about the relationship with the new family either. We still cared about him and wanted to know how he was doing but it didn't sound lines of communication were kept that open. I am sorry it isn't going quite so well for you. :( I know that would really bother me and it was kind of what we expected would be our situation but knew that was our only option. We figured it was better than institutionalizing him which was the only other option.

    I think that Ann has just taken in so many disruptions and had so many difficult children that she just doesn't judge anybody. She really didn't have much negative to say about any other the previous families of her boys. One of them had even been with their first family nearly 10 years when he moved to Ann's. You think she would have had something to say about that but she didn't. She just seemed to focus on the boys and where they were at then and how to help them where they were. She also just totally understood that most of these boys couldn't handle living in a typical family. We feel so blessed that she found us.

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