Saturday, October 26, 2013

On finding solace

There has been a lot going on in our life recently that I have not written about because I just don't know who is reading and I would much rather talk to people in person without having to use the Internet as a medium.  But for the sake of posterity I do need to write some things out.  Processing in this way is somewhat helpful.

Two weeks ago my Dad was officially diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's.  He is only 62 and was fit, active, intelligent, caring, godly and wise.  I hate to say "was" because he still is all those things.  We were hoping against hope that it was something else.  At times it did seem like we may have figured out what it was only to realize that something still wasn't quite right.  After very extensive neurological testing it was concluded that he did in fact have this horrible disease.  He is "only" in the moderate stages, but it still affects his ability to work and drive which you can imagine is a huge blow.


Although I thought I was ok and was managing to act strong on the outside my body was telling me a different story and it started shutting down.  I know I am being totally vague here, but like I said, I don't know who is reading.  We ended up cutting back some of the major things we were doing such as tutoring and CC and I tried to spend time listening to the Lord as to what he wanted us to do rather than running around like a crazy woman trying to be supermom.  The cape was choking me anyway.  I wouldn't recommend it.


God is so good to us though.   A few months ago I started a new bible reading plan that had you reading (along with Old and New Testament readings) through the entire book of Psalms every couple of months.  This has been absolutely my daily bread during this trial.  During days when I didn't know if I could get out of bed I cried out to the Lord for mercy.  When my heart would start racing I would pray that God would be my rock and refuge, a hiding place in time of trouble.
I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul, and you have not delivered me into the hand of the enemy; you have set my feet in a broad place.  Psalms 31:7-8

Having the words of the Psalms on the fore front of my mind has been invaluable and I thank the Lord that he prepared me ahead of time in this way.  I am also reading N.T. Wright's book The Case for the Psalms, which I also highly recommend for understanding and appreciating the Psalms better.

It's still hard.  It's hard to see Dad have to sell his truck because he can't drive anymore.  It is hard to see him step back from his pastoring job.  He has such a large heart and is such a caring soul.  It is hard to think of my Mom dealing with this and not being close enough to help more.  But this is our path to walk and we know that the LORD's lovingkindness will never leave us.  It is times like this that I am also thankful for the old hymns that I have memorized that pop into my head.... "Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care? Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.  In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.


Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD. Psalms 32:10


9 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry, Christy. What a shock for you and your family; your dad is so young! I'm glad to hear that you hung up your supermom cape, and I hope that you can heal physically now that you're doing less. Lots of love and prayers to you and your family...
    Denise

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  2. Hi Christy, Your Mom & Dad are in our prayers daily. I cannot imagine the pain this diagnosis brings to everyone in your family, especially your Mother. But I, for one , look forward to your postings, and also understand if you do not fee up to it. I am truly sorry we were not able to get together when I was back East a week ago. But maybe we will be able to meet someday.

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    1. I know Aunt Becky. I was so disappointed that I missed meeting you in person again. :( Thank you for praying.

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  3. You guys are on my mind all the time Christy. Praying for you

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    1. Thanks Elizabeth. We really do appreciate it and do feel everyone's prayers.

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  4. Thanks for writing, Christy. I know this is very difficult and I will continue to be praying for you and your parents. The Psalms have carried me through the hardest time in my life as well. I'm not sure if this is from Psalms or not, but the first verse that popped in my head is "Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He will strengthen your heart." I know He is doing this for me, and He will for you, too.

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    1. Yes that is from the Psalms. :) It is from Psalm 27 which our church congregation memorized this past summer and which I "just so happened" to be meditating on yesterday morning. And also the very Psalm that my Mom is reading a devotional book right now. I love how the Lord is so good to show us that he is with us during this time through confirming scriptures that He has for us in this way. Thank you!

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    2. Wow! That is really encouraging...for me, too!!

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